I want to warn everyone not to take anything I say seriously, there is something very wrong with me. My sense of humour is fucked in the head sideways and I truelly can't help my erratic behavior sometimes (I'm not joking, I'm out of control) so please, whatever you do, do not take anything I say too seriously especially if I'm in a euphoric state of mind.

Sorry to anyone I freaked out by threatening to blow up the country yesterday, I didn't actually mean it I just have a fucked up sense of humour.

Life rules, I am glad to be alive, fuck you all I hate you, love you all  I LOVE YOU.

Living rules man.

I am SO fucking happy I got a job again! Hopefully i will be working with Patrick (cousin) as a court usher. I'm all giddily happy Tom's party on Saturday, now that was fun. I have video evidence of Helen falling right over a bin, priceless. Luke, Ollie, Karen, Amanda, Keeley, Peter etc were all dancing to cotton eyed joe, yup, got that on camera too...and don't get me started on "Livin' on a prayer" singing by Becky...GOLD. I remember trying to use Tom's bread making machine with Luke and Luke Radcliffe...but we kept mucking it up terribly and this buttery concuction just ended up in the sink.

I have a strange feeling of...gratitude lately. Things seem to have taken a dramatic turn for the best...My parents have been really cool lately in the sense that they are alright now, they are laughing and joking as we speak- which has been quite a while since that happened... Stef is keeping out of my way which is brilliant, Patrick has recovered from that stupid stupid "incident" and I might even be working with him , which is great as he's my faveourite cousin....Luke, well, he's Luke, that's all I want, I got to see Tim and Mel for the first time in ages, which was great as I seriously missed those two...I'm missing Finn like Hell at the moment though. And Misch. I have taken a good look at the things in my life today and I realise that I have a lot to be happy about. Gratitude is a lovely feeling.

YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE?!!

People who direct enemies of mine to this weblog so their so-called friends can leave threatening comments because they are too much of a fucking PUSSY to leave comments themselves! You know what REALLY REALLY gets to me though?! The fact that the person who is giving out the link to my diary doesn't think it is at all GODDAMM FUCKING OBVIOUS WHO IT IS!!! mary mother of God  I KNOW it's you giving out the link to my diary you dumb bitch!!! As not a lot of people HAVE 20six or this address you fucking retard! There is only one person sad and misguided enough to hand out the link to my my diary to the people I hate on here and it BUGS THE HELL OUT OF ME that you don't think it's at all fucking obvious!!! grow a fucking backbone you fucking 2-faced cowards! This is my fucking diary and I will say what I dam well want you cunts!!!!

YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE?!!

Technology!!! The fact that the microwave blew up after having it less than a day, my phone refused to work before I goddam lost it, and now my computer keeps freezing up!!! You cannot fucking trust machines kill them ALL!!!

YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE?!!

People who hold grudges!!! People who I have not talked to for monthes, and maybe years and yet they still manage to worm their way back into annoying me even though if they died I probably wouldn't remember who they were!!!  I mean take this, I didn't recognise an msn address and asked who it was, this girl starts having a go at me just because we didn't get on at school THREE years ago. Or when you have agreed to ignore someone for good to AVOID an arguement, and then they keep fucking attempting to abuse you in any way possible. IT'S FUCKING PATHETIC.

YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE?!!

Insensitive people!!!

YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE?!!

The phrase "I don't have an opinion" OF COURSE YOU DO YOU'RE JUST TOO FRIGHTENED TO SAY IT! My God, it's MY opinion and I shall say what I bloody well want!!! I hate it when people pretend to be "civil" towards eachother. PFFT. That's just another way of avoiding telling somebody you hate them. If I hate you I will ignore you. If you hate me I am flattered, so BRING IT ON!!!!!!!

Other than that I've had a good day. Played tennis with Aaron and mark, twas much fun!

If you answer 'no' to number one, then there is no need to keep going. But if it's 'yes', then let the answers roll!!!

1. Have you ever been drunk? but of course
2. How old were you the first time you got drunk? 11

3. Have you ever gotten/given digits while intoxicated? ya
4. Have you ever 'drunk dialed'? yeah
5. Have you ever been drunk in front of family members? yeah that was a TERRIBLE idea. I'm full of terrible ideas.

6. Have you ever woken up after a night of drinking and found out that you are STILL drunk? Yeah and I broke something in my room
17. Have you ever swam drunk? Nopes, there are no lakes near the pub!
18. What kind of a drunk are you? Very stupid, forget my own name, lose my mind/common sense/belongings such as my phone, hiccuping, giggly as hell, sometimes paranoid/anti-social, silly.
19. Is alcohol like "truth serum" to you? Actually it makes me talk a load of rubbish (ask Luke, I once thought I was neo from the matrix)20. Favorite drinking partner? Luke, Tim, finn, Punk L, Aaron, Rupert, david to name but a few.
21. Favorite bar: a cheap one?
22. Have you ever completely blacked out? yes, it's not nice
23. Have you ever puked from drinking? What a silly question
24. Have you ever had the 'crying drunks'? I've cried when I've been drunk before if that's what you mean
25. Can you still do physical activity while intoxicated? Like walk? Sometimes!26. Have you ever gotten into a drunken fight? I've been beaten up by about 8 chavs on my way home cutting through a park drunk....that count?
27. Who is the most annoying drunk that you know? My cousin, he loudly asked me in front of the whole room "so are you on heroin, cocaine or what lately?" thanks Jay.
28. Who is the most flirtatious drunk? Finn. By far.
29. Do you have a drunken nickname? Loser LOL
30. Have you received a 'booty call'? called me or me call? I still don't know what that means
33. Have you ever woke up next to someone you didn't know? No
34. Have you ever been hit on by someone way older than you? way older? yeah my nan!
35. What's the worst 'buzz kill'? when there are those stupid drunken arguements
36. Have you ever dated a bartender or bouncer? No
37. Do you ever say to yourself, "Dang i need a drink"? I have done lol
38. Do strangers ever buy you drinks? It has happened before but I always get one for them after!
39. Have you ever drank too much on a date? I have never been on a date
40. Is there anything that you refuse to drink? Cider, baileys...urgh. Horrible stuff.
41. Have you ever been drunk on a plane? Nopes, but I have only been on a plane twice!
42. Have you ever gotten drunk during the day? yes
43. Have you ever had to run from the cops and leave the beer behind? Lol No
44. What's your favorite drinking game? drink the beer
45. Have you ever injured yourself while drunk? yeah, busted my knee, lost a filing falling down Emma's stairs, got beaten up, fell out of Emma's bed, fell into a fountain with Finn, fell off a wall on Melissa's birthday, whacked my hand at Stuart's, accidently set fire to my leg at jay's party (incense sticks), knocked myself out by falling off a wall into a bush at Tom's, puked on myself loads of times...dam i should really stop falling over.
46. What's the most destructive thing that has happened while you were drunk? Someone's front wall fell down which was nothing to do with me! (I was inside the house and just saw it)
47. Ever been drunk at a concert? yeah, Sugarcult 48. Do you want people to answer this survey and who do you
think it will be? Lol steal it if you must!
50. Why do you drink? To socialise

To cut a long story short, my sister who does not appear to have a brain, put a plug in it's socket straight after she had spilt a drink on it...wtf was she thinking?! I mean for God's sake! She isn't hurt, but her hand is still black from it, the plug just blew up and flew across her room and the wires scattered everywhere. I've just been in her room just now and it still looks like a pyromaniac really went to town on it! In other words, I am laughing my head off...My computer cut out and so did my Mum's, but luckily Mum fixed it XD so I can publish her stupidity on the internet :P

Pauls' (not Paul Baker, another Paul) party was quite fun. Except for when we were in the pub near his house. A fight broke out and about 6 people ended up joining in, some poor guy got a glass smashed over his head and he ended up with a bump that looked like an apple had been glued to his face...seriously, that was the hugest bump I have ever seen, accompanied by a lot of blood=nasty :S

I'm not sure whether this is a good or bad thing: I've been given the responsibility for providing the music for Mum and Dad's wedding anniversary in 12 weeks...I've got to burn a few CD's and my Mum insists I put on good music or she will quote "Kill me" :S She wants 10 hours worth of music and wants stuff like the Foo Fighters, Smashing pumpkins, the Kaiser Chiefs, Jimmy Hendrix, etc etc, but if anything goes wrong, supposedly it's my fault..hey, at least she's hiring a bouncy castle! XD (I don't care if my kid cousins want it, I'm taking over the bouncy castle it's MINE!!!!)

I didn't expect this today....this is Euphoria....Giggling at nothing whatsoever, laughing at the weirdest stuff anyway, considering setting the house on fire for fun, thinking that everyone is a decent human being deep down, and I genuinly don't care if anything happens to me anymore because there is no way in Hell I can escape this mood of euphoria...in short, I feel too good and if a car hit me right now I'd still be on this weird natural high...I just wouldn't care...I'd still be happy....although I feel beyond brilliant and can't even smile because I feel so...elevated...this is when I am most vunerable as I really don't care what happens right now and it un-nerves me slightly. It disturbs me that NOTHING upsets me when I gte into this mood and that's when bad things happen (or tend to) as I don't care enough to stop them happening...spectacular feeling. Like when my sister had her hands around my neck once and she was crying because she couldn't stop me smiling, let alone strangle me...unluckily for me I was in a high mood, and didn't care to stop her, just smiled away, so my neck hurt the next day. Then the feeling of pure happiness takes over again. Maybe relief has taken over me a bit as Patrick has come to his senses finally and is trying to kick all the habits that nearly kill him. Then again horrible things are going on around me and is it so wrong that nothing affects me anymore? I'm not even numb, far from it, I feel more than ever.

Maybe I have dis-associated myself with my surroundings. I'm really grateful for everything going on around me and almost can't remember what it feels like to feel hurt inside. It doesn't make any sense because I'm not having the best of times right now...but since when did anything in my life make any goddam sense...sometimes I wish someone could pull me down to Earth as the joy gets over-whelming but there is nothing anyone can do once am in this brilliant mood...as irrational as it may be, I love my life right now, and wouldn't change a thing. Everything is good around me.